Mental Health for Men: Three Ways You Can Tackle the Stigma for Seeking Help.
Man up! Boys don’t cry! Don’t be a wuss! Whatever idiom or phrase that you experienced in your youth and currently, I’m positive that a few come to mind from your family and friends in multiple different instances. How did hearing them work out for you? Forever cured of all past, present, and future negative experiences or feelings? Disregarding the dismissiveness and invalidation associated with these terms, they are not helpful in any form and do not teach healthy coping skills and mechanisms to process distress. If you do ask for help, are you worried about being seens as weak or the potential ramifications it might have on your future (i.e., career, relationships)? Mental health stigma applies to everyone and we have all experienced it in some form; however, in recent years I have seen progress with acceptance and availability of resources.
This article is specific to men and the unique experiences of those who identify as such within our culture and the Western medical system. A journal article written by Benita Chatmon (2020) reports that one in five adults experience mental health illness and that it is often overlooked in men. It further goes on to say that men are far less likely to seek mental health assistance and that depression and suicide are ranked as leading causes of death every year in this population. My personal experiences working with male clients and hearing their stories support the statements in this article and further highlight the silent struggles that men experience daily.
Masculine stereotypes and norms are still very prevalent in our society and saturate every form of media we consume. In a post by MediaSmarts, they review a few of the pillars of masculine media tropes that include: acting tough, aggression and control, rigid masculine gender roles, and hypersexuality. I’m sure that many movies and television shows come to mind that reinforce these tropes and very few come to mind that explore the very human experience of needing help at some point or struggling with their own health, whether that be physical or mental.
We will now explore three strategies that can be utilized by men to overcome mental health stigma and seek a better quality of life.
1. Acknowledge that the pain and suffering you experience in life is valid and real.
This sounds simple enough, but it’s actually a very common issue to not validate what you’re experiencing and trying to suppress or ignore it. If that actually worked, therapy wouldn’t need to exist. The first step is to acknowledge you are human and need help at times.
2. Support each other and check in.
You’d be surprised how shocked some people are when you genuinely ask how they are doing. We typically avoid difficult conversations and might feel inadequate to help, but the mere act of just checking in with someone goes a long way and might be the catalyst one needs to recognize they need help. Think of a friend you haven’t talked to in awhile and send them a text just seeing how they are doing; it might be just what they need today.
3. Break the mold.
The best place to start change is with yourself. You can begin with trying to not perpetuate toxic cultural norms that dismiss and invalidate the challenges of others by avoiding unhelpful phrases like, “man up” etc. Take some time and exercise compassion for yourself and others by having those hard conversations. Extend this to your friends and family to influence your inner social circle and hopefully your example will influence them to also be agents of change!
There is a lot of great information on this topic available online such as Sage Neuroscience and Healthline if you want to research this further. If you feel now is the time to make that change for yourself, I encourage you to reach out to a therapist of your choice to begin the hard work to transform yourself into the person you wish you be.
