Values; Time for an Alignment Check!
Have you ever been in the situation where something doesn’t feel right, even though everything checks out to you logically? Examples of this phenomenon could be transferring to a new high paying job, attending a prestigious college program, or feeling stagnant and disconnected when everything seems to be going well. If you have been, or are, in this type of situation and there are no obvious answers, it might be time for a bit of introspection and reflection on your personal values.
A value, by definition, is one’s judgement of what is important in life. It can be very easy to lose focus on your values with the many challenges of everyday life. Imagine the exciting job offer with high salary that would make paying rent and your loans easier, but the work involves testing a new makeup brand on animals. Well, that might be an extreme example, but you can see how this opportunity to make your life easier financially would run counter to certain values such as preservation and protection of life or a “live and let live” ethos.
The choices you are presented in life can quickly snowball into placing you in a situation where you feel unsatisfied and disconnected from your work and life. This misalignment of your values and lifestyle might manifest as depression, anxiety, or some form of distress that you can’t accurately explain. A post in Psychology Today by Dr. Stosny states that fighting a depressed mood requires a person to determine the things important to themselves and the core values being ignored. Let’s review five ways you can recommit to your values and achieve that more optimistic outlook!
1. Identify what is now important to you.
Our values change over time, so a good place to start is to identify what is important to you in the present. When you were younger, “career progression” was important to achieve your goals after college. Now your “family/children” might be the priority. If you are still making choices that are chasing a larger salary instead of attending your children’s baseball game, you might be experiencing a cognitive dissonance.
2. Do some homework!
All right, it’s not literally homework, but there are some great worksheets that are available for that you can use to identify values. These are useful tools I utilize when working with clients to help them experience that “aha!” moment.
3. Make a list.
Taking time to make a list of values, but only focus on a few. Author James Clear has a great page on this exercise and a list of values to consider. Other values you might pull from experience are the ones aligned from the military, sports, religion, or lifestyle you previously or currently still embrace.
4. Use experiences and emotions.
Recall a time you felt truly alive or present in the here and now? A post on values in PsychCentral list some great exercises such as reflecting on when you felt “high on life,” or making a collage of images that speak to you internally.
5. Connect with a therapist.
Finding a therapist that you trust and exploring your values in a safe environment is a proven way to reawaken your spirit. Using values clarification in therapy will assist with identifying what is important to you and integrating them into a beneficial treatment plan to assist with finding that zest for life.
Even if you are in a place in life where you feel content and fulfilled, these exercises and reflections on values are good practices to augment your lifestyle. It’s best practice to have this regular check-up on an annual basis to ensure your current journey is aligned with your core values.
